Before transitioning, I was a dancer for 18 years and I definitely presented more feminine because that’s just how it was in the dance world. As I moved into powerlifting and bodybuilding, I was able to start bringing out more of my masculine side while being able to create the body that I'd wanted for myself.

In the past three years that I’ve been doing bodybuilding, I’ve finally started to feel comfortable within myself through my journey of being on hormones and just being authentically me.

Powerlifting and bodybuilding have allowed me to see so many different ranges of identities. It is very diverse, even though there are certain associations that don't allow for transgender folks. But there still is a community within that realm that is very supportive.

With dance, I didn't see that support as much. There weren’t a lot of men figures. I did work with some teachers that were men but for the most part, it was all women. We'd wear all the glittery costumes and makeup and do hair and stuff. So there definitely was an emphasis on a more stereotypical feminine presentation.

In contrast, the bodybuilding and powerlifting world has more of a raw approach to who you are. You don't have to dress up and present yourself a certain way. All that really matters is that you're lifting the weights.

So it felt nice that I didn't have to try hard to be someone that I'm not. I can just go and do what I love to do. And that's it.

It’s frustrating how I’d have to compete in non-drug tested leagues for being trans

I currently work with a trans bodybuilder coach and I've been able to find trans and non-binary people who are currently lifting, and I get to share my experiences with them too. Luckily, I’ve also been around a great group of lifters who haven't really knocked me down from the mainstream perspective of misogyny and infantilization against trans folks.

They've been very supportive of my journey and have seen me prior to transitioning. They have seen my frustration with not being able to compete in powerlifting because I would have to compete in the non-drug tested league, which is where all the men can take additional steroids whereas I'm only reaching a minimum level of male hormones.

And it's the same for trans women with all these rules being put into place, where they unfortunately get more harassment in the field. So it’s disappointing to be a part of the powerlifting bodybuilding world when I see that type of stuff, but I also want to continue being a part of it. So I can hopefully make a change to it.

I feel like the thing that's really stopping sports from being a space of comfort is the higher-up people who are involved in the associations. There's not enough trans representation in higher levels, to bring an understanding of what hormones do, and just all these different things that people who are non-binary and trans experience.

Currently, people in these higher positions don't understand it. I hope that as more people are continuing to push against these restrictions, that people can expand their thoughts and sports can be more open to everyone.

If enough of us try to be part of this, then it may cause a positive change.

I would’ve probably come out sooner if my young self had this supportive community

I grew up being bullied and just feeling like an outcast in a lot of different things that I was in. If I would have had a supportive powerlifting community when I was younger the way that I do now, I would have probably come out to myself a lot sooner.

Maybe not necessarily in terms of coming out as a trans man, but I would’ve probably not tried to be like everyone else or tried to fit in while feeling uncomfortable all the time. It probably would have made life a little bit easier for myself mentally. Because it was hard, especially into my teenage years, with just trying to be like everyone else in high school. Now with the community that I'm a part of, I feel like I could be whoever I want, do whatever, and be fine with it.

For the future, I just hope that whoever or however someone may identify, they should be able to be in the sport of their choice. I think that's the ultimate goal that a lot of people want and I would hope to see as well.

I don't know if we'll ever get to that point but I hope we progress towards it. I don't know if we'll ever fully succeed but I hope that step by step, we will be able to do that, especially with the high school sports and middle school sports.

Young people should be able to play whatever they want with whatever team, so that: one, it's not messing with their mental health; and two, they can explore what they want to do, figure out who they are, and know what they want to play or do as a career later on.

There's just so much going on with trying to take away all the rights that have already been fought for once. So it's a long road ahead.

I started to feel a lot happier after I admitted that I wasn't a cisgender female

I would probably tell my younger self, "Just be you. Don't be afraid to be you."

I definitely have a really goofy personality most of the time, and I used to hide that a lot. And life wasn't as fun when I would hide that.

I've noticed once I did admit to myself that I wasn't a cis-gendered female, that I started to feel a lot happier all the time. I always had this feeling that something wasn’t right, but I didn’t know what was wrong.

I thought: maybe I need to move out to a different town; maybe I need to have a different job, a different place to live.

I kept trying all these different things and nothing ever felt right until I admitted to myself that I'm not identifying in alignment with how I feel. Once I finally did that, life just felt so much easier. I still struggle with some things mentally, but I've gained so much euphoria in just my day to day life. And I wouldn't change it for the world.

To decompress from the attacks on trans people, I try to find ways that I can put my foot forward and help out even if it's just small things, like donating to local LGBT organizations, and speaking to the public about our experiences.

I talk to people throughout the day and it helps me because I'm realizing that I'm informing people about things that they didn't know. But there's so many people that still need to know about gender and the struggles that a lot of us are going through. So as long as I know that I'm doing what I can do, from where I'm at, that definitely helps the overall situation of it.